Dead!

"If LIFE ain't just a joke, then why are we laughing? Then why am i dead?"

Happy new year! haha. it's a bittersweet morning for me. i tend to feel this way when i look back on the things i've done; the things going on in the lives of my friends, etc. it's the feeling of "I wish i was there to share it with you". it's the feeling of "i wish i could be a bigger part of your life". i think i know what to call it... the "superman syndrome".

it's the high IQ, low EQ syndrome. It's the guilt syndrome. it's the regret syndrome. it's the "maybe i've been the problem, maybe i'm the one to blame" syndrome.

but it is also the "I will be faithful" syndrome. it's the "i will be there for you" syndrome. it's the "i will fight on" syndrome. it's the "i will never, ever give up; never ever give in" syndrome.

2007 will be, i believe, the best year yet. and though my weary heart may falter, though i'm broken and defeated, i'll carry on.

help me, please, because i've lost all hope in myself. what have i done that's worthy of rememberance? please give me a reason to believe in my future. please, give me a revelation of who i am, instead.