So Sally can wait, she knows its too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I hear you say.
-"Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis.

I like this song. It reminds me of everything bad that's happened, then tells me that it's too late to change anything because it's already gone. then it tells me to move on; to forgive and forget.

Good morning. I've got a sort of sub-insomnia; i can't get used to sleeping early, no matter how tired I am. Take now, for example. I'm really sleepy, but can't seem to bring myself to make my bed and go to sleep.

My hands are itching to design something. Somehow, though, I just can't find the inspiration to find out exactly what it is. I can't shake the feeling that I'm in desperate need of a camera. I might as well wait and get a really good camera instead of jumping from one trashy digicam to the next (like what i'm doing now). Thinkin of getting a Canon SLR camera. Probably a 350D or 30D or something. I'm seriously lacking the finances, though. Sigh. Where's a breakthrough when you need one? Sure feels like I'm alone in this situation. I've got no paying freelance jobs, and i still owe a flash animation.

Went around wishing people a belated Valentine's with a rose-less stalk today. Met with some resistance. It's days like these when a guy would wish he was a girl just so he could recieve gifts and not be obligated to buy anyone anything. Oi! Where's my chocolate and money? Sucks to have Y chromosomes sometimes.

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?

Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath a landslide
In a Champagne Supernova in the sky
-"Champagne Supernova" by Oasis

Oasis fever today. "Champagne Supernova" is the second last song on their singles compilation album "stop the clocks" ("Don't look back in anger" is the last track).

Noel Gallagher (he wrote this song, in case you didn't know) said that he still doesn't know what the song means, but says that he thinks it's about reincarnation. Personally, i think he's a little off target.

To me, this song puts in mind an image of an old man who knows that he's going to die soon. He wonders where his friends were when he was having fun; he wonders where they were when he was feeling down. Or maybe it's just one person that he's wondering about. The chorus gives me the impression that when he dies, he doesn't want to fade away, but to be remembered as spectacular; as having an impact on the who's who in his life. I guess this is what everyone wants: to be remembered. I don't think there's anyone who's an exception to this. Whether it's to just a few people or to the entire world for generations to come, people want to know that they matter.

Pst. Derek said today that everyone is, by nature, selfish. I've heard that before somewhere. You know what's funny? It's the most selfish people that insist that they are the most self-sacrificial. I've met extremes of people like that before; they are hell to be with. I think that the most selfish thing a person can do is to disregard all the help that he's gotten and insist that they've gotten to where they are now solely by their own strength. Then again, who isn't guilty of that? I know i can be like that sometimes.

I think i've said before that the best thing you can ever, ever do for a person is to simply be there for him or her. (sidenote: what's the point of an extravagant Valentine's if you cannot be available for the other 364 days?) I realise that the first thing we regret when someone passes away is not spending enough time with that person. logically, though, what sense does it make? would spending one day more have made a difference? I don't think so. Because while we still live, we will always, always take for granted what we have. At some point in our lives, we have to come to a complete understanding of what it means to live for "more than just me". I must say i'm still pretty far away from living for more than myself.

Haha, what's with my blogging mania...

One last song before i get some much-needed sleep:

Flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you’re free

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I’m alone for our last goodbye
But you’re free

I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can’t believe you’re gone
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
And until I’m with you, I’ll carry on

Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless, numb, and sore
A part of you in me is torn
And you’re free

I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me

I’ll carry on

Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can’t believe you’re gone
So long my friend, so long
-"Yesterdays" by Switchfoot.

Good night.