Awakening

Been listening to this song lately. It's on Switchfoot's latest album, "Oh! Gravity."

Spent the last few minutes reading other people's blogs (I have superpowers that let me read at hyper-speed) whilst eating some cookies and cream ice cream (which is a LOT of cream. Dang, I'm supposed to be losing weight) when i realised that so many people are in the emotional, "love me when I'm gone", "down and out but will be back" sort of mood. I must be a bit out of flow here, cos I'm feeling strangely fine. haha!

Not to rub it in though, but I was just reminiscing about all the stuff that I've missed. Like Wendy's and Kim's and Sze Wing's birthdays (I did catch Wei Wen's dinner though). Like all the Leadership stuff. It's as if everyone's gonna be a cell leader soon, and I'm left way behind eating dirt. Like all the fellowship after cell group and service. Like all the stuff that's going on in my CCA group that I'm supposed to be informed about (cos I'm the president) but wasn't told. Like everything.

Sometimes I ask God whether I've really missed my chance to shine. Maybe I'm too far down, away from everything. Maybe I'm just a bad person.

But like the song says. Maybe it's called ambition, but you've been talking in your sleep about a dream

haha.

I've given up on all my pride. Content to live like a pauper for the people and the things that I love. Is there something more? I don't know. But to carry on, though you yourself are broken and defeated, though you fall apart at the seams, though you waste away with each step you take. To carry on still - that's living your faith, right?

I hope I'm real; cos I don't wanna lie to anyone. I've seen my heroes rise and fall, and I still look up to them.

I'm a joke to myself; I don't think I'm good for anything. Low self-esteem, maybe? Maybe. I just hope that the whos that i impact today will make up for the disappointments that i create in my own life.

there.

adding to the already over-populated list of depressed blogs. Don't get me wrong though. I'm just musing over the what-ifs and maybes in my life at the moment.

Cheer up, people. Life's worth living for.