And today, I fought Tyler Durden.

I created a graph to symbolise where I feel I'm at in my life right now.



Today is the worst day of my life. And it's only just begun.

I'm dead tired, I'm way behind in my work, and when all I needed was someone to comfort me, no one was there. No one is here.

Where were you? Where are you? I really really forced myself to believe that you'd be faithful, that you'd always, always be there. But I can't even sense you anymore. I'm not even sure if I'm really a friend of yours.

I tell myself to be strong: I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. And though I may not be gifted, talented, good-looking or popular, I was satisfied with what I was. But now I'm not so sure. I tell myself that there are others worse off than I am.

But I'm not them.

And so I do stick out like a sore thumb, yeah? But I'm sick of it. I hid behind my jokes, and I was different. I did not conform. But now I just want to blend in with the crowd. I want to be somewhere safe. Because even my friends don't take me seriously anymore. I don't want to be me anymore. I hate the person I see every time I look in a mirror.

All I wanted was someone to comfort me.

You know the saying, that everyone needs an average of eight hugs a day to survive? When I walked through my front door, all I could think of was giving my mom a hug. Then maybe all the bad things would go away, even if only for a while.

Mom's not home today.

There's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. And I swear I've never felt so lonely in my life.

So now I'm sitting here, with a sprained wrist, a sprained foot, and a torn ligament in my knee. I know I'm going to be punished because I couldn't get enough of my club members to go for some crappy meeting in school. I can't complete my work in time for what might be my last chance of entering the crowbar design competition. My lecturer just told me that he can't grade me simply because I've missed out on too much work.

And on a normal day I'd just smile, laugh it off and move along.

I'd run out of adjectives to describe exactly how much I hate myself right now.

And all I needed was somebody to be here, right here, for me.

Just this once.