Multiple Personality Order.

Hi, I am another one of Nick's various personalities (which he separates and compartmentalises for convenience's sake).

I am the part of Nick that handles all the Disappointments (not to be confused with the department of Anger or Frustration). More specifically, my department handles items classified under "being stood up" (which is much akin to "you're late", except that our department faces more dire consequences in the case of a power outage).

Recently, our department has been very busy. We are currently being supported by the "shit happens" team, which specialises in services such as "It's part of life", "another time then", "Think of it as time to yourself", etc.

We have also received help from a mysterious external device known as "Xbox", which serves no other purpose except to relieve stress and frustration by creating virtual objects (resembling people) to beat the living daylights out of. Another side effect of this is the passing of time caused by the sudden (traumatising) rift in Nick's schedule.

This external device now occupies the extra slots that used to be owned by S.L.E.E.P. and F.O.O.D.

However, as the external device is not readily available, and S.L.E.E.P. and F.O.O.D. are both seasonal departments, our department is perpetually forced into overtime. Our best-selling products include "Patience" and "Forgiveness", as we have found that our previous product, "Damn you all!!!" and "go and die, please" didn't sell very well.

Despite having been upgraded and updated over the many years in operation, our department may face power outages once in a while. When this happens, the system tends to produce things like "Depression", which may lead to "Self-depreciation". These products have an adverse effect on Nick, often causing him to keep deadly silent for extended periods of time, eat food at an alarmingly accelerated rate (which may be harmful in itself), etc. This behaviour may degrade to, if left unattended and in most severe cases, to self-mutilation. The last time this occurred, the moon turned blue, the sky turned green, the cows came home, and the Singapore soccer team won the World Cup.

However, our system has been trained to adhere to the "Low doesn't mean No" rule, and as such, we highly encourage people to .a) don't make promises to Nick that you're likely to break, .b) if you do have to break it, do so at least a day before (to allow us time to notify the Scheduling department) .c) make up for it (only necessary in cases where you 1. SMS an apology, 2. don't apologise at all. Nick's override system may kick in, and cause him to do some serious redecoration to your face and internal organs).

Thank you for your co-operation. Before I switch back to the "Mr. Nice Guy" side of Nick, I would like to mention something that he would not say aloud: DO NOT TAKE MY TIME FOR GRANTED. That is all, thank you.

p.s. This post is meant to be read with a pinch of salt. If you feel that it applies to you, then you may be one of the lucky few who can redeem a knuckle sandwich. If the sandwich is not redeemed, then it will be delivered to your house, along with a free facelift.