22 Oct 2007

This is my rest day from the past few months of work.

Things are finally slowing down again (or at least, they aren't speeding up anymore). At the moment, I'm trying to catch up on my assignment. I seem to have lost some time on it last week. Or at least, that's what my lecturer claims.

Last Friday, the 19th, was one of my low points. Everything that could've possibly gone wrong, went wrong. And even some stuff which I thought was absolutely idiot-proof and fail-proof went awry. I won't re-iterate everything, but it was pretty bad. Faced lots of music from lecturers, my coach, and even some of my seniors. One of the judges couldn't make it for the event. I had to cancel a competition event that I watched my juniors train 5 hours a day, four days a week for the past 3 months for because of some technicality in the rules. I can't say that I was more upset than they were, but I took it pretty badly because I was indirectly to blame for it. The day then went from bad to worse as things started to break down and mess up.

Mess up to a point that I lost my temper. I don't think anyone who has known me for less than four years has seen me like that before. I think I gave everyone there quite a fright.

Then on my way home, I called my mom. No answer. I called Lucas. He was too busy to talk, so I called Kim. She was on her way back home to JB, so she couldn't really talk either. I called Sally. No answer. Then I broke down and cried.

Saturday morning didn't start any better. It was pouring really badly, and I was completely drenched. My mom was in a bad mood, and I had a bad stomach ache. I was supposed to open the clubhouse door, and I was 15 minutes late.

There were lots of things wrong with the competition itself, too. No access to hang our banner, no Guest of Honour, no printers, etc. My seniors, who until that day have kept mum, suddenly had lots of stuff to say and to criticise me for.

Lucas was supposed to be there to support the competition, but he overslept.

At least Kim was there. If not for her, I don't think I would have made it through the day. She didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Her being there meant the world to me at that difficult point in time.

And even through all that mess, I would say that the day went well. Whatever we participated in, we got a prize for. Gold for 長拳, silver for 南拳, silver for 象形拳, and gold for 集体拳. We pulled out of 对练 because my junior Meng Hui had a really nasty back injury, but we could have bagged a gold for that as well. Not because we're especially good, but because the standard for this event is especially low.

I learnt a lot of things through this.

Firstly: check, check, check! You can't ever be thorough enough. I had to cancel almost half the event because I wasn't thorough enough when I checked the rules and regulations which my (ex-)secretary and publications officer wrote. And even though I could give the excuse that "hey, I've never even gone to a Wushu competition before", I think that's just shrugging the responsibility. Checking and re-checking may make you seem really anal and fussy, but it'll solve a lot of headaches in the future.

Secondly: ask. No one in this world will offer to help you. Why? Because no one gives half a rat's ass what happens to you. As humans, all they really care about is saving the skin on their face and on their butt. In fact, most people will go out of their way to pin the blame on you, should things go wrong. Take it from me, it really sucks to have your coach blame you for things you had no way of knowing about in the first place. Be obsessive in your gathering of information, and hold people to their word. Get it in black-and-white if you have to. It's sadistically satisfying to see someone trying to push the blame on you, only to find out that they themselves are to blame.

Thirdly: get help. And I mean good help. Having a secretary that ran away from all responsibility mid-way through the planning process three months ago had repercussions all the way to the competition date itself. Having an awesome team of people who picked up the slack and went the extra mile to make sure things get done really saved my ass. Alex, Clement, Cuthbert, Janice, Wenqi - you guys are the reason there was an event at all. Of course there were others who helped a whole lot too, but these guys were with me from day one, and I really owe everything to them.

One thing I realise, too. That there are some things that mean the world to a person that you cannot miss, no matter what. Especially if the person is close to you, like an old friend or a family member:

1. Anniversaries. Birthdays, wedding anniversaries (for those married), etc. It's once a year, so work you schedule around it, for goodness' sake. And, I've noticed, that it's possible to be physically present but mentally absent. Whenever you're at a birthday party or an anniversary dinner, throw away that stupid hand-phone, stop having your own private conversation, and for one day in the year, make the person(s) involved feel like you actually listen to them at all. And don't be cheap with your presents. I guarantee, if the present is in any way purchased on a tight budget or as a last-minute resort, the person receiving it CAN and WILL sense it.

2. "First-times". This may not seem very important, but it separates the friends from the chumps and fakes. Make sure you take the time to make it for things like your friends'/kid's/whatever's first time for anything. Be it a basketball game, a soccer match, a competition, a trip overseas - if it's important to the person, it should be important to you. If you really can't make it, at least drop the person a call to let him/her know you care. And if you do something idiotic and unforgivable like oversleep or forget, you really should think about whether that person is important to you at all.

I guess you'd probably be able to tell, but most (if not all) of the stuff I've just mentioned is based on personal experience, and hence is pretty much laced with a whole bunch of emotion-inducing words and phrases. Although, I admit, it's probably toned down a few notches from what was originally in my head. But that's just me being me - painfully forthright.

So here's the fruit of all my training for the past few months:

I guess in the midst of all that has happened, this is my miracle. The dude who won first place was really good, and he beat me by a pretty wide margin, and I must say that I didn't - and still don't - mind losing to him at all.

So thank you, God, for keeping me all this time. For the encouragement and the strength. For everything.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13